Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.

Obscenity is what happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate.

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.

The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat.

Man has two great spiritual needs. One is for forgiveness. The other is for goodness.

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer.

Suck it up. This is the life you chose for yourself, so buck up and deal.