Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

I love women's college basketball, but I don't want it in the NBA.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

It’s not about the dress you wear, but it’s about the life you lead in the dress.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.

Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden.

I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.

Love is a reciprocal torture.

Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.