If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.

Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.

Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.

I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.

Health food makes me sick.

I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer, in my mind I am free.

Live simply. Dream big. Be grateful. Give Love. Laugh lots.

Every man's life is a fairy tale, written by God's fingers.

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.

I do not see a necessary connection between proletarian literature and some set percentage of words which bring the blushes to a maiden's cheek.

I gather from a lawyer that there was a rehearsal yesterday. We haven't a hope. I know the presiding judge too: I've had the misfortune to sleep with his wife. He was specially picked.

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.

Human beings, viewed as behaving systems, are quite simple. The apparent complexity of our behavior over time is largely a reflection of the complexity of the environment in which we find ourselves.

Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity.