If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it.

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.

There's a rebel lying deep in my soul.

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

Seek the pleasure in what you're doing rather than in how it might ultimately benefit you.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

In life, when you encounter mean and hurtful people, treat them like sandpaper. No matter how rough they may scrub you, you end up polished and smooth.

If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secrete of getting along - whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system

The funny thing about Thanksgiving ,or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it’s gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.

Remember well, and bear in mind, a constant friend is hard to find.

We must love them both, those whose opinions we share and those whose opinions we reject, for both have labored in the search for truth, and both have helped us in finding it.